The Good Life... a weblog about life, technology, and the Opera Web browser

To my friends:

If I ever say anything on here that speaks directly about you that you would like me to remove, please contact me immediately so that we can talk about it. I don't mean for anything I say on here to hurt any of my friendships, but rather to build them stronger. God bless you all.

I want to talk a little about love tonight. This morning, the bell choir I'm in at school played at a local church to thank them for the use of their bells at our end-of-the-semester concert. There were two sermons given, one for the children and one aimed at the adults. The former was about forgiveness while the latter was about love. Both were quite good and got me thinking....

As I said, the children's sermon was about forgiveness. The pastor illustrated this by writing a letter, then messing up and starting over again. He did this several times and then pointed out how cool it was to have all this clean paper to write on in case he messed up. He related this to our relationship with Christ by saying that when we ask for forgiveness for our sins, God wipes the slate clean and starts us out anew.

While this is an excellent lesson to learn, I think there is another thing that this analogy illustrates quite well. Some people may think that because we know that God will forgive us, that we can sin and just get away with it without worries. I don't agree with that attitude at all. I ask you to think about what happens to pieces of paper that the pastor messed up on. While God might wipe our slate clean, there is still waste that has occurred, or in human terms, relationships that have been hurt and damage that has been done. This is where repercussions come into play. While I might forgive a friend for a sin, it might also mean that I can't be friends with them anymore. Another example is that while a wife may forgive her husband for committing adultery, the repercussion is that she divorces him.

I know I have experienced this in my life. There was a lot of sin in my last dating relationship. I thought we could work through it and that everything would be alright as long as we forgave each other. Well, it didn't work out that way. The sin started weighing down on us (mostly because it continued long after it should have stopped--not that it should have started in the first place...) and we just got to the point where we couldn't communicate. Right now, she's chosen not to talk to me because of the complication involved in it all. I can completely understand that because I've come to understand that I was feeling very much the same way, even if I didn't know it.

While I didn't find the script to The Mexican, I'm going to try quoting from it still. There's a scene in the movie where Julia Roberts is sitting down waiting for her boyfriend whom she's been fighting with. Roberts' companion has been talking with her about this and he asks (something like) if there are two people that love each other, but they just can't seem to work it out, at what point do they call it quits? Roberts goes into this great dialogue that expertly displays her frustration, yet makes absolutely no sense. Her companion just kind of shakes his head and says there's one answer to that question and that certainly wasn't it. The answer is, quite simply, Never.

I say this for a couple of reasons. First, because I don't want to give up hope in my own life of a new, wonderful friendship budding from the collapse of my dating relationship. Secondly, because I think there is a lot about love that people just don't understand. I call myself a romantic and I tend to think that once you love someone, you love them forever, period. I gave a piece of my heart to my ex and that isn't something that I could get back, nor is it something that I want back. I gave her my heart as a gift and it's something that I wanted (want) her to cherish always. I think there is hope for us hopeless-romantics yet. Yeah, there's cool stuff ahead.

Now to get back to my point. The adult part of the sermon spoke about love (and forgiveness to some extent). The pastor read John 21:1-19, speaking of how Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. In John 13:28, Jesus said that Peter would deny him three times. In John 18, this came true. So, in John 21, Jesus is giving Peter a chance to receive forgiveness for his sins by telling Jesus that he loves Him three times. It's a wonderful example of Jesus' love for everyone, even those that have wronged him.

One of the other points of the sermon was about the word love itself. I have come to believe that we use the words love and hate far too often in our regular vocabulary. The meanings of these words have lost so much of what they originally meant that they're hardly fit for what they were intended. Love, as the pastor explained, isn't a feeling, but rather an action. If a wife loves her husband, he should know it without having to hear the words I love you out of her mouth. I think that's a wonderful understanding of what love is really about and an understanding that I intend to meditate on. When we say things like, I just love that TV show, or, I love your hair, we're really taking away from the true meaning of love. It's been said that God is love. This is something I believe. I wish that everyone could learn to love from Him. The world would be such a wonderful place....

I hope some of this made sense. Love's a cool thing and I don't regret for one second the things that happened in my dating relationship, including the sin. I know that I am who I am today because of the things that have occurred in my past. I can truthfully say that I got a glimpse of what love is about--and that's a cool thing to be able to say. If our friendships ends here, I am fine with that. I have learned so much and have so many wonderful memories. Still, I wouldn't be opposed to a renewed friendship for one instant. Either way, I know that I will always love her. Such is the way with love. It is a truly wonderful thing when used the way it was intended....

Movies this week for movie night:

• Days of Thunder
• What about Bob?
• Anastasia

I have to write a 9 minute policy speech for my Argument and Reasoning class on Tuesday. I'm still not sure what I'm going to talk about. I have a couple of ideas, but I'm somewhat concerned that my ideas won't be appropriate for my audience (my class).

Kinda related to this (this is one of the topics I'm concidering), I had a really good conversation with a friend today about drinking (alcohol). Since I was in High School--at the age where many of my fellow students began drinking--I've been against underage drinking. Coming to college has been a new experience because for the first time I've actually been around people who were drinking; I had always stayed away from it before. Anyway, in High School I was in a non-profit organization called the Student Alcohol and Drug Advisory Council (SADAC). Our main goal was to prevent the use (and abuse) of alcohol and drugs by fellow students. It was a really cool group, but I digress. Before coming to Lynchburg College, I went to community college for two years. During this time, I still had no interest in drinking. I guess it just didn't really make sense to me. I didn't get why people needed an artificial, harmful substance to have fun with friends. That still doesn't make sense to me.

So now I find myself at what's considered a party school. I watch as many of my fellow students go out nightly (well, weekendly) to the party street and I just don't get it. All I can see is a bunch of kids trying to get away from reality and in the meantime getting themselves into bad circumstances.

On Wednesday nights, there is a bar close to the school that has dime drafts. A survey done by a fellow student of other students showed that 60+% have driven drunk back to LC. Additionally, 90+% of them had driven with someone who was drunk. I'm sorry, but what are these people thinking? Are these people thinking?

Anyway, to get back to the point, one of my friends has been drinking a couple of times and I've taken notice of it. I decided to confront her about it and we had a very pleasant conversation. I asked her a couple of questions like, why are you doing this when you could get kicked out of college if caught? and what's the point, what's the attraction? It came down to the fact that she couldn't answer the questions. Frankly, I'm not surprised about that. I mean no offense to her, but I think she's more intelligent than to act the way that she has been. When she couldn't come up with an answer, I think that was really the answer that I was looking for: she didn't know and she needed to give it some thought.

You might be wondering why I brought this up with her in the first place. Well, I've seen enough bad stuff happen to those that I really care about because of alcohol that I really don't want anyone to get into bad habits while I'm around. I'm turning 21 in about a month and a half. I haven't had any alcohol to drink (while I was old enough to understand what it meant to drink, meaning my parents gave me some when I was like 9) and I don't ever really intend to do so. I don't get the attraction and it's just not something that I find myself inclined to do. Yes, that's my choice and I'm not trying to force anyone else to make that choice. I just want to make sure that the decisions being made are informed decisions. If my friends go out and drink and do it being fully aware of the consequences, fine, that's their choice. And you know what, as their friend, I'll be there for them if they ever need me--if they need a ride or just need any kind of help. Suffice it to say, there are just some people (my friends) that I care too much about to really let them make the decision to drink without saying something to them first. I've found that a lot of people drink because they want to fit in or they think that noone really cares. I'm just trying to show them that there are people who don't drink, who will accept you for the choices you make, and who do care. That's what I'm about.