The Good Life... a weblog about life, technology, and the Opera web browser

Word for the day:

kerfuffle \ker-FUH-ful\ (noun)

chiefly British : disturbance, fuss

Use it liberally, but don't make a kerfuffle in the process.

I just received the following email from a friend:

I'm writing you this email to hopefully break your hearts a little and open your wallets. As some of you who live in this area (Editor's Note: near Raleigh, NC) may know, MIX 101.5 is doing their 8th annual Radiothon to raise money for Duke Children's Hospital. They started out 8 years ago hoping for $25,000 and surpassed it by $100,000. Each year that amount has grown by at least $100,000, topping off last year at $890,000. This year they're hoping for $1 million.

I'm writing you this to beg you guys to please give money to these kids. If you've listened to it, you've heard their heartbreaking stories. Kids as young as one day old having surgeries and going through procedures grown men wouldn't want their worst enemies to go through. And they do it with a smile on their face. These kids are an inspiration to everyone they meet. They're still the same happy go lucky kids as ever, but they have no hair, or they're missing a limb, or they can't see, or they have some other horribly debilitating disease. While other kids their age are going to school, playing outside with their friends, riding their bikes, acting like kids, these kids are in the hospital fighting for their lives.

There was one boy who was in the hospital for 26 months straight, with only one day where he was well enough to go outside. 26 months. That's over two years. Think about a two year period in your life and what happened to you, the trials and tribulations you went through. Now compare it to a child living day in and day out stuck inside a hospital room with a TV but no cable, two VCRs to share with the rest of the hall, bad food, and all this on top of being tired and sick all the time from constant chemo, radiation, and surgery. Do your two years still look that bad?

And these are children going through all this, children! There was one girl who came on the radio and talked about a cancer she had in her eyes where she lost her sight when she was just three years old, then developed another cancer when she was 12 and had to have her eyelid removed. She talked about how she couldn't see her parents' faces anymore, she couldn't see all the colors or beautiful things in the world. But she said she still had so much to be thankful for because there are so many people out there who are worse off than she is. Can you imagine having so many problems, but still being thankful because there are others who have it worse? And this is a thirteen year old girl. That's how amazing these kids are.

Some of you may know that I had a very dear friend who was treated at Duke Hospital for cancer who died last March. Because of him, as well as two other friends I have who have died of cancer, I have such a passion and a longing to help these children, and I'd like to pass some of that longing onto you. I ask that you donate at least $5 to these kids, just $5. That's all I ask. And also, send this email to everyone in your address book. The more people we have helping, the better. That's the least we can do to help the children. They are our future, and without your help, there won't be much a future for them.

The money goes to books and toys for the kids so they won't be bored in the hospital. It goes to pagers for the parents so they can maybe go home and be with their other children, or get some sleep on something more comfortable than a chair. It also goes to recliners for the parents who spend every night at their child's bedside. It goes to research so they can find new procedures and treatments to help the hundreds and hundreds of kids that come to Duke from all over the world every year.

Do it for those kids. Do it for the healthy kids. Do it for the parents. Do it for the wonderful, caring doctors and nurses on staff at Duke. Do it for yourselves. I dont' care who you do it for, but just do it. As one little boy said on the radio last year, "it's just the right thing to do." You can call in your pledge at 919-890-6234, or toll free at 1-888-890-6234, or you can do it over the web. I encourage you to go there and look at the pictures of these kids. Look at the smiles on their faces, especially when they see the check every year. Look in their eyes and then tell them you can't give just five dollars. I know you can find enough love and compassion in your hearts to help out these wonderful children. We have so much to be thankful for that we take for granted.

One mother talked about how it was a miracle just to see her daughter breathe on her own. How often do we take breathing for granted? These kids certainly don't. So give them money and breathe a little easier tonight. They're counting on you. Don't let them down.

If you'd like to link back to this site, copy this link. The Radiothon ends June 3rd. Please make a pledge.

Mozilla-based browsers were having problems with this blog since I added a script the other day. I've disabled the script and will try to find the problem at some point soon. Hopefully everything will work in the mean time.

The real reason I started talking about listening is that I wanted to relate it to prayer. So, if you haven't already read what I said about listening, take a peek at that before continuing with this post.

I recently read Hearing God by Dallas Willard. It's an excellent book aimed to help individuals develop a conversational relationship with God. Anyway, Willard discusses a lot of cool stuff. Some of this stuff I'm talking about is from my own head, but most of it is from him.

A conversation consists of at least two people talking with each other. Therefore, a conversational relationship with God would consist of both talking and listening on the part of the prayer. Well, when's the last time you spent anywhere near the amount of time you spend asking God for things / talking to God about things listening to what He has to say in reply? Not much? Yeah, same here.

I don't have much else to say on the subject other than to consider spending some time listening to what God has to say to you. You must realize that this normally won't come as something you'll hear or see, but rather something that will be on your heart or in your mind. You can pray that God helps you to develop this. It's a big trial and error process, so don't worry if it doesn't seem to be doing much. Patience and perseverance are your friends. Also, if you're really interested, take a look at that book. It's well worth the read.

God bless. :)

Is it just me, or does it seem like I'm trying to be a teacher sometimes? I almost want to have a separate section of this web site dedicated to "articles" (or something) like that one that I've just written about listening. I'm never really sure what's appropriate here, but I guess that's up to me to figure out. Comments are welcome.

I've always thought of myself as a good listener. It's actually something that I've worked hard. I know how much some people need another person who is attentive and has a genuine interest in what they're saying. I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I thought I'd share a couple of lessons I've learned as part of my journey to become a better listener:

Don't tell a person you know exactly what they're going through--you don't.

While you might have experienced something similar, you have no idea what it's like for them to go through the specific situation they're dealing with. Saying that you do can often cause frustration and resentment. Consequently, that person may not choose to confide in you in the future.

Don't try to relate what they're going through to something in your own life.

When a person really needs someone to talk to, they don't want to listen to you talk about the things that you've been through in your life. This goes along with my first point--you might have experienced something similar, but it's going to seem totally different to the person wanting attention.

Be attentive.

Imagine a friend is trying to tell you about something really traumatic that's just happened and you're chatting with friends on IM, yet you say you're listening. How would that make you feel? Try to give a person you're talking with as much of your attention as possible. Often, they'll find it disarming the amount of attention they're getting, but it will be worthwhile in the end. Giving the person you're listening to your full attention will build a rapport with them and make it more likely they'll confide in your again.

If confided in, don't break that trust unless necessary for the safety of the individual and / or yourself or to receive advice from a trusted friend.

The easiest way to guarantee someone won't confide in you again is to break their trust. However, there are situations where it is imperative that you break that trust. If the individual is in danger of hurting themselves or someone else, don't hesitate to notify authorities or, at the very least, seek advice from a trusted friend. Trust should be something you are willing to break to save someone's life. Additionally, if you are in over your head or just need some advice on how to deal with the situation, seek out a trusted friend. Consider speaking about this with the individual first to gauge their reactions. It often shows your commitment to help when you're willing to go out of your way to find an answer.

Just listen.

When you're listening to someone, let them have control of the conversation. Every once in a while, reiterate what they've said to make sure you fully understand it. See if you can say back to them what they've said, paraphrasing they're statements. This will aid in your understanding of the situation and can often calm the nerves of the individual.

Listening is a wonderful gift and I'm so glad that Christ gave me this gift.

I just found out that one of my professors was published in a Sci Fi magazine. Congrats!

Ever heard the phrase, You're a feast for sore eyes? Last week on Prairie Home Companion, one of the performers was belittling himself. He said he wasn't even a light snack for sore eyes. I just thought that was funny. ;)

If you didn't already know, I'm quite the movie aficionado. I went to see Pearl Harbor today. This movie is a director / producer's dream. I sat on the edge of my seat through the action, cried through the tragedy and love, and felt as if I was pulled into the story line. The cinematography was wonderful, as was the acting. I found myself praying for humanity to be forgiven for the horrible things that we do. My heart just hurt after watching that hate. I recommend the movie, but I warn you that you should be ready to be touched.

On May 18th, I posted about Kaycee Nicole. I found out tonight, to my horror, that the story of her life was a hoax. My first reaction is to delete all traces of this from my blog. However, while that person may not have been real, I know the love that people felt for her was. So many people reached out to her and loved her. I don't want people to forget that that happens and that people can be like that. And now, I just ask that as we loved the Kaycee we thought was real, we forgive Debbie for what has happened. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm going to pray for Debbie and for all those involved.