The Good Life... a weblog about life, technology, and the Opera Web browser

The other day, I saw Erin Brockovich (yes, the real Erin Brockovich) on C-SPAN. I was very impressed at how well Julia Roberts portrayed her in the movie. Erin Brockovich was speaking at the National Press Club regarding environmental issues and Pacific Gas & Electric. She's a very strong speaker and I'm now even more impressed by the things she accomplished in Hinkley, CA. She really did some wonderful things for those people.

I wish I could find a transcript of her speech. It looks like you can watch the video at C-SPAN's site, or at least you'll be able to for a couple of days. If you do choose to watch it, fast forward the video to 6 minutes to avoid all the junk that comes before she's even introduced.

If you have an hour to spare, check out the video. It's entertaining, informing, and thought provoking.

I've spent a lot of time alone in the car recently. During this time, I often listen to music (I sing in my car!) and spend time thinking random thoughts. For whatever reason, on one of these trips, it occurred to me that I might be a controlling person--the type of controlling person that turns into a controlling boyfriend and you hear Ann Landers telling women to stay away from. Ick.

So, I thought that I couldn't possibly be a controlling person. And then I thought about it some more. And some more. And some more yet. And I came to the conclusion that I am a controlling person. It's part of what ruined my last relationship and it's probably ruined bunches upon bunches of friendships. And it took me this long to figure it out.

There were signs, I'll admit that. I've been told that I jump in with both feet or that I consume a situation. It never really occurred to me what that all meant in the grand scheme of things. I've always noticed how I tend to takeover meetings and such. I always thought that it was just an aspect of leadership. I never knew it for what it really was.

How does one become an uncontrolling person? What's the difference between being a good leader and being controlling? How am I going to find all these friends that I've lost contact with and try to explain to them that I'm sorry. How do I apologize to people that don't want to have anything to do with me because I was that overpowering (and nearly completely unaware of it!)? How could I have done this?

I might be over-reacting some, but I just keep thinking of the far-reaching consequences of this realization. I can't help but wonder how things would have been different in my life. But I have to pull myself back to the present and put everything into perspective.

This was supposed to happen. I can fight this and I can win. I can salvage friendships. I have support and love from many wonderful people that have overlooked this fault thus far. I have a wonderful Father that is looking out for me and will help me work through this. This too shall pass--this too shall pass.

When Jeremy and I came down for Camp Jeep a couple of weeks ago, we stayed here in Lynchburg the first night. Actually, we stayed on top of Baldspot, a hill on the south-side of town. We drove his Jeep up the hill in the dark and just pitched a tent up there. That's the second time I've been up there; it's great. On one side of the hill, all you can see are hills and valleys. On the other side, you can see the lights of Lynchburg. It's really quite gorgeous.

When we woke up the next morning, I gave Jeremy a quick tour of my school before hitting the road. I realized then that I feel more at home at my school than I do at my house. I'm surrounded by great people and great minds. I'm free to make mistakes. I don't have to do dishes! All these feelings have been confirmed now that I'm down here, working on getting moved in. It's good to be home.

My archives apparently decided to go on hiatus without informing me. I think it might be a permissions problem. I guess I'll figure that out on Monday when I talk to ITS about all this stuff.