I take it that most men show up at their wedding when they're told wearing what they're told. I hadn't occurred to me to not be involved in the planning, so I have been. Rebekah has been doing most of the research, but when it comes down to the final decision, she asks for my input. Perhaps it's been a bit more stressful for her (having to consider my input), but I've really enjoyed being a part of the process.
Since we have a lot to do in such a short time, we work almost every day on wedding plans. Next Tuesday, we start ballroom dance lessons. On Wednesdays, we meet with a pastor for premarital counseling. It doesn't leave a lot of time to do personal things, but it's as if we're being forced to mature into the people we'll need to be for our marriage to work.
Think about it like this: when you're on your own, your biggest responsibility is yourself, but when you're married, your biggest responsibility is someone else! Most people would fail miserably making that transition on the day they get married without some preparation. Putting a wedding together is loads of work. It took us about a month just to get all the addresses for the invitations together. Creating our wedding registry was the most intense shopping I've ever done. If I were to little things go undone, they'd become overwhelming and I'd be a stressed-out loony. However, by working on these things bit-by-bit, they're manageable. So, simply by helping to plan our marriage, I'm becoming more mature and responsible. Bonus!
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Responsibility
First I wanna say congratulations and that I wish you all the best.
I however also feel the need to comment on something. You say that now your biggest responsibility will be someone else. I don't agree that it should be like that. I think it is much healthier if both persons try to be responsible for themselves. If you are always responsible for another person you will forget about yourself and that is not good for anyone in the long run (not for you, your partner, or the relationship). This I had to learn the hard way.
Supporting your partner in everyday life is a completly different story. You should support your partner as much as you can (without forgetting about yourself). Then if hard times come you will be more capable of stepping in and taking responsibility when it is really needed.
It is all about finding balance and harmony. My claim is that it is really all about compromises. Sounds bad but you get some much other good stuff instead that it all evens out:-).
RE: Responsibility
Hi Gerdur,
Thanks for dropping in and for the well wishing. :)
By saying she's going to be my biggest responsibility, I don't mean to imply that she'll stop being responsible for herself (or vice versa). But in nearly every decision I make now, I have to consider the impact on her, not just me. Looking out for myself is easy, I've done that my entire life. But learning to look out for another person too, that's quite a change and challenge.
it's not all that much of a c
it's not all that much of a change for you, i don't think. sure, there's that whole responsibility thing that you're not all that familiar with ('cause i'm one to talk), but you've always been a very considerate guy. i don't think taking rebekah into consideration is gonna be all that stressful for ya.
No change?
Well, what can I say? Thanks, Helen. :) I hope you're right.
Congratulations! great you
Congratulations!
great you post pictures of your weddingplanng, it's fun to se how you(representng here my image of how americans are like) do your wedding preps and wedding.
-Cecilie, also known as "eiras friend"