I think of myself as a writer. That only really started during my sophomore year of college though, when my English Literature professor suggested I take up a Writing Minor. Before then, I never thought I was good at it; I didn't feel like I had the imagination for it.
Back in primary and secondary school, I recall recreating my own versions of The Flash and The Killer Brussel Sprouts because I couldn't come up with my own story to tell. One of my classmates even called me on the former, but my teacher let it go, as I had written the tale in my own way. Now that I think about it, I'm usually better at improving something that already exists than creating something from scratch. And that doesn't go just for writing. I think that's one of the reasons I'm so good at quality assurance; though I don't look directly at the code, I have a head for finding the weak points in what others have done.
But I digress. Lately, I've been finding it more and more difficult to write. Part of it comes from working at a computer all day. Who really wants to come home and work on it all night, too? Part of it is also the amount of work I usually put into a single post. Gone are the days that I could write and write and write, hit submit, and be over with it. Now, I write, go back and rewrite a bit, write some more, add a sentence to the paragraph I started with, and so on. I almost wonder if all the writing classes I took at school have ruined me. I'm only interested in the superb ideas. I want perfect punctuation, grammar, and spelling (he says as he gives "supurb" a second look and corrects it). And all these things cause this once easy hobby to become long and arduous.
I took the fun out of it. I want everything to be exceptional. It's not just about writing to get stuff out anymore; it's about the writing being perfect. I yearn for my writing to be exceptional, yet that makes it harder to write anything at all. Vicious circle, ya know? I don't mind writing personal stuff about myself. I'm pretty open about all that. Now, I need to get over the myth that everything one creates is fantastic (if anything is...).
We'll see if I can get past all this. In the end, it's the subject I'm writing about that really matters. I have a lot of things floating around my head that I want to write. If I don't get them out, no one benefits from it and I don't even get the opportunity to try to create something new and cool. And that's half the fun, anyway.
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sillyhead,
according to ellis, 'perfectionism is the root of most human evil.' while i'm not sure i agree with that entirely, i think you're missing the forest for the trees. professional writers usually write every day. not b/c they think a masterpiece will spew forth each time, but b/c they need to practice. and we all know what practice makes... but anyway, you should write often. not only b/c of that whole practice thing, but also b/c if you find yourself emotionally caught up in something, if you don't get it out or explore it, it's gonna affect how you write. a few lc professors had their students write essays (that wouldn't be graded) about 9/11 after it happened, just b/c the students had all this emotional upchuck that needed to get out before they could move on. so spew something, masterpiece or soulful vomit. we're your friends, and we don't care... as long as it doesn't splatter on us.
p.s. my ulterior motive is that i am sometimes bored at work and need blogs to read. plus, you live really far away, and this way i can get updates on your life.
You're right, of course. It
You're right, of course. It doesn't matter if everything is great because I'll get more practice the more I write. Thus, the overall quality of my writing should improve over time.
Well, we'll see if I can get stuff kick-started. Thanks for the encouragement. :)
I usually upload new content
I usually upload new content too quickly. Reviews of literary works contain embarrassing typos, missed punctuation, omitted spaces, and various problems. Technical løgg increments need a lot of quality assurance as well :]
I really do not care that volk get multiple feed updates, or if they catch me with my, er, ortography down, or my thoughts uncombed.
On yet another hand, whilst I agree that perfectionism is an issue one has to tackle, pressure is another. Self-imposed, or peer-driven. Some feel a completely different need to write only to fulfill a gap akin to that which is felt by some in the presence of someone not entirely familiar, a string of silences which are usually filled with small talk of no content, and misguided style.
Finally — readers, for me, are just an afterthought.
Indeed, I don't (normally)
Indeed, I don't (normally) write for my readers. I write for me. And I'm a perfectionist, so I want it to be perfect for me. ;)
Unloading
I really appreciate having somewhere to write my thoughts, whether online or in a paper journal. It may be something I do want to talk to another about later but a lot of times I've got those ideas in my brain that need unloading. I also like being able to put it down because that act is different from talking in that I can clear up to myself how I feel about something and understand it better. It's also clearer if I choose to share it with others. I might talk about something impersonal like the way things in Norway work, "unimportant" stuff about tv shows or cooking or more personal things.
I actually do like feedback from readers, mostly because writing online is one way to communicate with friends I don't talk to so often or email all the time. And I don't have to write the same stuff all the time to those I email. And some might know how when I start talking, things are unclear and I can ramble. I know this about myself and a lot of times I'm not sure if I'm understood.
I've never considered myself a "correct" writer. I'm terrible with grammar, etc. which is why grades could suffer but when I actually have an idea I care about, it comes out a bit better.
One of the key things you
One of the key things you mentioned is unloading. When I started this weblog (about four and a half years ago), that's mostly what it was about. I think I had more to unload back then. At that time, I also kept a private journal, which I've since stopped. I realize I keep a bit too much inside, but I also share stuff with you (my wife) instead of sharing it with everyone. I didn't have anyone as close to me as you are before.